Russia has spoiled you. Why did the wives of guest workers run away from their husbands?

Firuzawas born in the small town of Jalal-Abad in southern Kyrgyzstan. She moved to Moscow immediately after the wedding, at the age of 20. Husband worked as a taxi driver, she — dishwasher in a diner. Two years later, the couple divorced with a scandal.

«He shouted —  Moscow has corrupted you!» — Firuza laughs. — "You don't wear a hijab, you put on a thin dress, you paint your lips!". I myself am surprised at my own courage. At home, everything was decided by my father and older brother, I was afraid to utter a word in front of them. And what was next for me? Wash dishes for Muscovites and serve your husband all your life?».

Photo: AiF/Georgy Zotov.

The girl remembers — the capital of Russia amazed her.

“Your women are free, independent, on equal terms with their husbands, some even earn more than they do! I want that too.” Her father later came to Moscow to “sort it out”; with her daughter, but Firuza hid with a friend, and he did not find her.

“I don't know how it would have ended, — she admits. — According to our concepts, I disgraced him in front of the neighbors. At best, my dad would have beaten me.

Firuza speaks excellent Russian, although she hardly knew him when she arrived in Moscow: now she has entered special courses and is going to become an artist. As the AiF observer found out, this is not the only case « in recent years, hundreds of wives of guest workers who left for Russia from ex-Soviet Central Asia left their husbands: explaining that they want to live like Russian women  

«She feeds you, the fool,»

«In Russia, you have little idea of ​​the manners in the small towns of Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan, — explains businessman from Tashkent Karim Seifullaev. — Do you remember a recent video from the Internet, where an Uzbek groom hit his bride on the head at a wedding in front of everyone? She got the prize in the game, but he couldn't win. The bully escaped the police — the beaten bride said she had no complaints. Young women from villages work at my factory, they receive 12,000 rubles a month. Their husbands lie at home all day watching TV. But they will not deny themselves & nbsp; in “joy” beat the wife — if she, in their opinion, came home from the factory too late. What for? She feeds you, fool! “And to know, you need to teach a lesson.” Wives in villages have to serve their husband's family, and their mothers-in-law constantly reproach them. They wash everyone, cook, give birth to children, and no one “thanks” to them. does not say, one task is set — to groom and cherish her husband. Then such a girl comes to Moscow or St. Petersburg, and she goes crazy. It turns out that everything is different here! At home, she is a disenfranchised servant, and in your cities, women often do not depend on their husbands. No wonder the case may end in divorce. 

“He choked on his soup, coughed”

Karim Seifullaev tells — very recently the wives of two of his acquaintances have left. In Uzbekistan, where previously the husband was almost always the initiator of a divorce, this is no longer a rarity. “They went to work in America. There, the women looked around and see — wow. No one puts pressure on them, does not reproach them, the husband does not raise his hand for disobedience — immediately put in jail. Dress how you want — there is no hissing around: «What will the neighbors say?». They divorced and the husbands couldn't do anything. So in Russia, a similar thing began to happen with our women from the outback.

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Photo: AiF/Georgy Zotov.

Aigulfrom the southern Kyrgyz city of Osh last year she left her husband in St. Petersburg — he was a cashier in a supermarket, she cut sushi in a cafe. She was sharply surprised by how freely Petersburg women dress. “The girl is walking in the heat, she is wearing a topic, a short skirt, her hair is loose. And I'm steaming in a scarf, in a jacket, in pants. So that other men would not be tempted. My husband was always angry, even when he saw how our women walk around the capital of Kyrgyzstan — in a T-shirt, in shorts, with bare legs: oh, woe, Bishkek has completely turned into St. Petersburg. When you get home from work — cook food, get out. He took my money — you are a woman, why do you need your finances? It will be necessary, I will issue. As soon as I announced that I was leaving, he choked on his soup, sat, coughed.

«My parents renounced me»

Aigul decided to become an architect — she has been saving money for education for a long time, she will soon go to college. In general, after a divorce in Russia, the wives of guest workers often find jobs that pay much better.

“In your country, there are many opportunities for a woman to make a career, — said 28-year-old Gulnarafrom Andijan (Uzbekistan). — Of course, Russians also have scandals in their families, and fights, anything can happen… But the question — what… ma-shta-be… Did I say correctly? Novosibirsk was the first Russian city for me. I got a job as a cleaner in a restaurant and saw — women sitting at the table in companies, spending the money they earned… for me it was a shock. They openly drink wine, their husbands and parents don't mind… and do they have these same husbands? I washed floors for two years and lived in a two-room apartment with five other families. Now I run a cafe, and I earn three times more than my ex-husband. But the main problem is not him, but his father and mother. They disowned me saying — «Russia has spoiled you». I hide the fact that I have a lover — that would terrify my parents. Getting divorced — is already a crime, but here it is!».

“They spoke Russian at home, my mother worked as a secretary of the district committee of the CPSU during the Union, — remembers the Kyrgyz psychologist Zhazgul Temirkhanova. — And still — when I announced my divorce from my husband, she only said: «You are no longer my daughter!».

Photo: AiF/Georgy Zotov.

“I left my husband for the sake of debauchery”

Sometimes parting with a spouse for a guest worker's wife ends tragically.

“This does not apply to residents of big cities, — assures 30-year-old Lola, after a divorce, she completed English courses in Moscow. — There are more intelligentsia in Tashkent and Samarkand, mores are softer. But I am from Fergana, and our people are strict and conservative. So I came to Tashkent on business, I’m talking to you in a tea house, and I myself am nervous — suddenly someone from my acquaintances will see, tell my relatives that I am in Uzbekistan. My neighbor in a Moscow apartment, a girl from Osh, was stabbed with a knife by her older brother — for divorce and disgrace to the family. He obviously wanted to kill her, but she locked herself in the bathroom and called the police. In the eyes of her relatives, she left a terrible monster — wife for the sake of «debauchery», and put her brother in jail. Neither I nor other women, having received a divorce stamp, do not feel safe. Paranoia is constantly growing, you suspect even close people. What if they lure you home by deceit, and they won’t let you out — lock you up until you change your mind? In the villages, everyone is in collusion — both the local authorities and the police consider such a punishment to be normal. They don't kill — so what else are you complaining about?".

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Photo: AiF/Georgy Zotov.

None of the women who communicated with allowed her surname to be published. “You have no idea what will begin” — Aigul sighs. — "My parents are on medication, and my opinion will just finish them off. It is sad that relatives do not care about our right to choose. Even my sisters don't support me. In Russia, of course, it is not smeared with honey, and sometimes different things happen in families: they beat their wives, and parents interfere in their own business. However, girls from post-Soviet Central Asia are sure — this is not considered the norm. They wanted to leave their marriage behind: all the respondents admitted to that they got married without love — parents agreed. I did a report on how guest workers disagree with their wives by SMS, having found a new love in Russia. Well, what about women? They also have the right to arrange life as they want. 

Photo: AiF/Georgy Zotov. Rate the material


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